Seven months seem like an eternity. It has been a difficult, yet truly humbling experience. I can't thank my family and friends and church family enough for all of the loving support, inspiration, prayers, good deeds, and more that have been done in my behalf.

I am not the type of person that can accept help very easily, I am the one bringing you dinner, the one talking to you about how you feel, the one that helps out if there is ever the need, with no expectation of anything in return, because that is what I feel good in doing, yet I have had to learn to sit back and accept graciously the kindnesses that have come to me over this very difficult journey.

I had to go to yet another viewing of someone that passed away all to young and went to dinner afterward with my old roommate. She came out an asked just exactly how I was doing and feeling and although I have days that I could kick, maim
or otherwise injure someone who is no longer here, I told her that I am really at peace with the entire situation. Yes, I am angry some days, but aren't we all when something like this happens? I have learned to accept what I cannot change. I must go on.

This is not to say, however, that I still don't have days when I cry myself to sleep, want with all of my heart to talk to him about something one of the kids did that he would love, still have to stop and think that I don't have to yell at him to get out of bed to get ready for church, talk to him about how Ashlynne wants to know which cloud he actually lives on, how Andrew holds his picture and finally falls to sleep after a particularly rough day, how Austin would just love to read a new little book from school to him, and the list goes on and on and on......

This is a daily process that will go on for all time, but I amazingly at peace and have come to to rely on our Savior more and more to heal my wounds and broken heart and allow me to take my life one day at a time.