YUUUUUUUMM

Austin doesn't like corn, much less corn on the cob. Ashlynne likes corn, but not on the cob. Andrew on the other hand.....well, he devoured it quickly and there was barely any breathing in between bites!

LIFE AND DEATH

Yesterday was quite possibly one of the best and the worst days of my life. Now that is not to say that in the future that something may come up that makes this look easy in comparison, but so far--yes it was one of the worst.

Ashlynne and I got up and went with Greg to MS Therapy and from there we went to the funeral of my former boss' father. He was 93 years old, lead a very productive, long, and prosperous life--he would be what most of us would refer to as a "From Rags to Riches" story. He sold all he had to come to America with his wife and two small children and died a millionaire several times over. He was frugal and was one of those who believed in "waste not, want not" He investigated the LDS Church while attempting to locate a book he had to read for college. In those does books were either put in the dafe for keeping because they were rare and needed to be perserved or the government did not want you to read it--It was a book by Andrew Jensen discussing the life of the Prophet Joseph Smith. He had also been dating a young girl for five years that was a memeber of the church. he loved her with all of his heat, but also know that she would NEVER marry him if he were not a memeber of the church. After much persuasion to the library officials, he took the book home and read it that evening, never to return to his former religion. The branch president at the time waved him off and said that he would last about 2-3 weeks.

John served as a missionary in his beloved home of Norway during World War II, under a lot of fear from the German government, brought his small family to American and raised them in the gospel. He became the Family Patriarch, a Bishop, Stake President, Regional Representative, Mission President, Temple President, Temple Sealer, and at to think that at the wave of a branch president to think he would only last a few weeks.

He was a friend to General Authorities and Prophets and it was with great pleasure, that Elder L. Tom Perry and President Monson were surprise speakers at his funeral. They were amazing--the entire funeral was amazing. The total recall of the brethren is spectacular! I was please to be a part of the service.

Then all HELL broke loose!

Ahslynne and I got home around 2:00 p.m. The the dam burst! the kids decided to have a waterfight in the kitchen, while I was in the other Then after fixing dinner, our neighbor came over to see what he was going to need to lay our flagstone and I went outside to talk to him. When I returned to the kitchen, the kids had had an applesauce food fight (so much for that floor I scrubbed on saturday that you could eat off--now there is food!!!) Andrew is having a tummy problem and had the messiest dieapers all day. Andrew also went into the bathroom and pulled on one of the towels and down came the towels rack/shelf that held all of my antique medicine bottles and piece of coral that I bought in San Diego about 10 years ago. Actually the coral was a little more salvageable than the bottles, and the one bottle that didn't break was a bottle I just stuck up there to add to the collection that wasn't an antique. Austin threw a lamp at Ashlynne that promptly turned into a black eye and with this heat I am sweating profusely--enough to supply water to Niagra Falls--the CANADIAN SIDE (bigger falls if you've never been there)

I am sure that other things were going on and through all of this my voice was altered to about 300 million decibles higher than normal because the kids just won't listen,mind, follow through and they are being BIG FAT STINKERS and have gotten on my very last nerve! So I have had no voice for almost 18 hours.


So now that you know what I go through in a regular day, and that was only the afternoon, I am sure you are very jealous and would love to trade spots with me on any given day, right? I didn't think so!!!

BLISTERING HEAT

THE THERMOMETER SAYS IT'S ABOVE 80 DEGREES!!!
I REALLY DON'T LIKE THE HEAT--AT ALL!!!
HOW I WISH I COULD BE LIKE THIS LITTLE BOY AND RUN THRU THE FOUNTAIN WATERS WITHOUT A CARE IN THE WORLD!!!
I GUESS I WILL JUST GET SOME ICE COLD LEMONADE AND SIT WITH MY FEET IN THE KIDDIE POOL AND GET A TAN!


IT IS HOT!!!!

CLEVELAND OR BUST (her in the chops---urrrrh!)

My mother has the same companion for 18 months of her mission. I guess it is better that you go with your spouse because you are used to the idiosycransies and with a total unknown, it is hard to love and appreciate it as much.

This woman has a lot of weird ideas and ways of doing things.

The Peoria Mission closed it's doors as a mission on June 20th. The only thing keeping anyone there was finishing up reports and making sure everything was where it needed to go, i.e. Des Moines or St. Louis. So for nine days they have had no Mission President to really answer to, although if there was a problem they had to call Des Moines, but they were to finish up reports and financial sheets, you name it, it should have been done, but...

Before they headed to Cleveland they wanted to go to Columbus and do a session in the Columbus Temple, because this temple is not in their district. They made appointments to be there at 9:00 this morning, but....

Sister Homer is the ultimate of ultimate passive aggressive persons and this is the telephone text conversation that I have had with my mom beginning Friday and I will probably hear more before the end of the night (Sat)!
this is a bit lengthy, but it is FUNNY!

Gaylene: Have you left Peoria yet, or (joking) are you still sitting at the office waiting for her (Sis. Homer) to finish?
Mom: (6:10 p.m.) Yes, I am still at the office. this is completely ridiculous. Her office looks like a tornado hit is and she keeps finding more to do. I don't think I would ever consider going on another mission. Now she is outside, hammering keys to bend them so they can't be used and she still has a stack of papers 6 inches high to shred. I'm sure not being tolerant of my fellow man, or in this case, woman!
Gaylene: Breathe in thru the nose, out thru the mouth. What time are you supposed to report to the mission home?
Mom: I lied, she has an entire box of shredding. She doesn't want to throw anything away and keeps going through the SAME papers, trying to decide if she should send them to Des Moines, or shred them. What is God trying to teach me? If it is patience, it's not working. My stress level is off the charts.
(on reporting to the mission home) Sometime tomorrow.
Now she is talking about not leaving until tomorrow and shipping the shred pile to Cleveland and shredding it there. The other day she told me how I need to be more organized!!! (are you kidding me)
Now she just wants too find someplace to burn them!
Gaylene: Dang, I was driving and and you were too quick. I wanted to say, "Can you spell F.I.R.E.? And ask her to look at herself and ask who is calling the kettle black? Is the car packed? Does she realize it is almost 7:00 (CST). Obviously you are not going to make the 9:00 session at the Columbus Temple.
Mom: No, the car isn't packed and now we are BACK at the office. Can I come Home???
Gaylene: The house is really messy right now, Sorry!
Mom: And you think our apartment is spotless? She has "droven" me nuts many, many times, but I think today is the epitome!!!
Gaylene: She has "droven" you nuts? That is very poor English.
Mom: that's more extreme than "Driven."
Gaylene: Ohhhh!
Mom: (7:48) We are still at the office!
Gaylene: It's almost 8:00--Tell her it is time to leave---NOW!!!
Mom: She is not done yet.
Gaylene: Tell her "YOU ARE!!!"
Mom: (8:08) We are going home now.
Gaylene: Good Grief Charlie Brown!!
Mom: I fell asleep at my desk and put a big groove from the edge of the desk in my forehead!---Oh...I lied, she is still puttering. And singing while I seethe!
Gaylene: Should You Fell Inclined To Censure and/or Let Us Oft Speak Kind Words to Each Other!
Mom: these are the kindest words I could think of right now, without swearing, of which I haven't done for 5 months. I slipped once.
Mom: (10:30 p.m.) I am still in Peoria. Love you!

Saturday, July 10th, 2010
Mom: (9:24 a.m.) Good Morning. Would you believe that the brakes on the car have been squeaking for 3 months and she has decided this morning that she needs to have them checked before we leave. No the car isn't packed, Yet.
Oh yeah, I forgot. She "FORGOT" to shred the office records. So now we have to find a place.
Gaylene: I get the feeling that you won't be making the 9:00 session in Columbus or any session at all for that matter.
Someone needs to talk to this woman about procrastination and organization.
Mom: (1:22) We are still in Peoria.
Gaylene: All I can say is "OH MY H$%%!!! What is this woman's problem?
Mom: Everything is in the car, my half of the car has half of her stuff--so really I only have one quarter of the car. I am STILL sitting in a HOT car waiting for her to say goodbye to an... (there was a broken message here and it didn't come up)
Mom: (2:00) We are in the car headed to get the brakes checked.
Mom: (2:21) We are really on our way---after we stop at Walmart for a road map, but she took the wrong exit, so I really don't know where we are going.
Gaylene: Give me her phone number. I am going to call her and tell her just what I am thinking right now!
Mom: she doesn't have a cell phone. Remember the office phone she had, she never turned on and anyway, besides, she doesn't like modern conveniences.
Gaylene: Good thing. Tell her she is now the subject of my next blog entry. Unbelievable!!!
Mom: (2:37) I have been up since 4:30 a.m. and I am totally exhausted. Not to mention I haven't had an actual meal since our friends too us to lunch on Thursday. I figure I might lose weight after all.
Gaylene: Well, she is so organized and procrastinated for so long, unlike yourself (laughing out loud to myself) Tell her you need to stop somewhere and get a burger or something. It's the least she can do for you!!! How long is the drive to Cleveland again?
Mom: Eight hours
Gaylene: So you should get there around Midnight or Two a.m. sometime. Oh the lucky Sorenson's (Mission President)
Mom: We are going to the apartment--the Birklands will be waiting, and waiting, and waiting for us!!! Oh my..., she forgot to shred the Financial Papers--but she pulled a can of tomatoes and some oatmeal out of the dumpster--what gives there?
Gaylene: Should I call the Birkland's and warn them?
Mom: Nah! Let's surprise them. The problem is that she comes across as being very knowledgeable and efficient to others! And she makes sure everyone knows I am very inept. She is so passive aggressive. She didn't believe I read the road sign correctly because we were going south instead of east. So...she got off the freeway and went down a road for about two miles before she could fine a place to pull over and read the map and guess what she said? Oh the road does go south! (Duh!!) Now she is taking pictures of the road signs WHILE SHE IS DRIVING!
Gaylene: Well I guess you must set everyone straight about the two of you. Maybe you will get there before you have to head to church tomorrow.
Mom: It doesn't start until 11:00 So we might make it, maybe?
Gaylene: Don't hold your breath.
Mom: I hold my breath every time we get in the car and go anywhere.
Gaylene: You may be blue before you get there.
Mom: Or dead!
Hopefully they will make it in one piece and pray for mom to have more patience, because she just may kill her or bust her in the chops.
One day I will post all the weird and strange things she does, just so you can get a glimpse of what mom lives with.

VACATION, REALLY ?

We all know how I feel about senior missionaries! They are spoiled rotten to the core and they know it, especially one Sister Schmardebeck and her companion, Sister Homer. And she will laugh about this!

The Illinois Peoria Mission officially closed its doors yesterday at 5:00 p.m. Apparently, Des Moines took over all of their missionary info a week or so ago, and St. Louis took over all of theirs on Monday. What to do, what to do?


Mom went into the office to day to finish up some last minute things and do a few things for Pres. Erickson (who left for home this morning) She went into her computer program and apparently the Church offices had shut some of the programs down and when she called to ask what she needed to do about it she was told that she and Sister Homer were officially on VACATION (what?) until July 9th when they officially become missionaries serving in Cleveland, Ohio.

I don't know about you, but I know of no missionaries that get a vacation (unless of course you are a SENIOR!!!).

So their plans are to head for Nauvoo again, on Saturday. Come back for their last Sunday meeting in the ward they are assigned to. Then head back to Nauvoo again on Tuesday for the Nauvoo Pageant, and more Nauvoo time, and maybe just one last temple session. Are you seeing a theme here?
Now my question really is this, The President is gone, so does this mean that the Cat is away and the mice will play? In all honesty, I think sister Homer will truly keep her in line!